I’m so ugly I’m so fucking ugly. Why can’t people just stop fucking lying to me. I was called SHREK today! Or at least that’s what I heard. I’m sure they said it. Why would. Hear anything different. I wanna cry. I wanna crawl up in a ball and fucking cry. I hate being this way but what else am I suppose to do. Just walk around like Im pretty an swords don’t effect me and im confident? It’s not that easy! I wish it was….really wish it was but it’s not. I just wanna eat and never come outside. I don’t want people to see my ugliness. I don’t think I’m ugly but apparently I see someone else when I look in the mirror. Apparently I’m so fucking ugly. I’m a monster to guys. Why didn’t he act out or hug me or kiss me….well not kiss me. Idk he’s just not my guy. He doesn’t want me and I need to get over it. I need to stop it. I feel like this is the only guy I’ve cried over. Im just crying over the fact that NO ONE WANTS ME. Stopcomplaining when you have a guy that told people he likes you. At least he wants you. I don’t have anyone. I have shit. I will always be alone. No one wants me. No one thinks im pretty. And even if they do they don’t wanna date me. They just call me “cute” so I won’t be offended. Well don’t suffer coat shit. I’m either ugly or attractive. Don’t lie to me!!! I hate liars so fucking much. No one what’s to tell me the truth so I have to. I hate myself

// Stop fucking eating. Are you fucking crazy? Have you seen the scale lately? Do you understand what you’re doing to yourself? You disgust me. How could you? Starve, bitch.//

(via breathingcorpses)

You will honestly let me do anything else to you but kiss you. I don’t get it. Just let me so I can stop thinking about you. You saw how I gotten better. You were into it. You wanted to watch. Don’t you want more then just to watch? Don’t you wanna touch? Feel? I want you. All of you. I don’t understand how you could possibly not want me. I am your soul mate. I get you. I like you. I think I love you. But you don’t love me. You don’t even like me. I am just another girl. Another person with a voice. I am a mere human on the subways of NYC, passing you without any reason to look back. I don’t blame you though. it’s easy to not like me. There is nothing special about me. So it’s not your fault. It’s all mine. Thinking I have a chance th you when. Know that I don’t. Thinking, “oh, he wants to lay on my boobs. He must like me. He’s just being shy.”. Telling myself that one day you’ll come running up to me just to confess your love to me since the day I started liking you. Telling me im not crazy or desperate or sad or pathetic and you’ve always liked me. It’s my fault. It’s alwayscmyfault. But I’ll sleep tonight. Fantizising about tonight when you laid apon me during a childrens movie right in front of everyone of our friends. But the fantasy will be that you touch me under the covers. Under my dress. Under my panties. And only you and I will know. It will be our little secret. Then later on you find a way to kiss me in private. Weather it be in Asia’s kitchen or bathroom or in the hallway when we’re going to ur sisters car. And maybe you sister will like me. Or maybe she will have to work and you’ll have to walk home and ask me to walk with you but not because ur scared. Because you wanna protect me and be my knieght in shining armor if anything were to happen to me. And you’ll casually hold my hand or put your arm around my shoulders or even my waist and hold me tight as we cross the street under the bright steer lights so everyone who is driving late can know that in up your girl. Know that you picked me out of everyone else. Hoping that they’ll all be jealous cause to you you’ve got the best girl in the world. And you’ll tell me you like me and have liked me since you’ve first started hangs out and you were scared to tell me or couldnt find the right moment. Or that you never really had complete feeling for me but they became clear to you on Friday when we were hanging out in Fernando’s kitchen alone for hours. And that today I look perfect and cute and beautiful and just everything he wanted in a girl. That he liked the way I played with hair as we watche date movie. The way I gently slide my finger over is ear occasionally. How I slightly rubbed his arm Ashe laid on my stomach and chest and legs and pelvis. He liked the way I smelled and felt and he wanted to kiss me. The way me and Nina made out gave him a boner. He wanted to taste my lips. But to not bite him. Or maybe my parents you be on vacation and his parent was go for a few days and sister was visiting a frind in florida and he invited me over. And well the rest is history.i want that. But what I get is a couple minutes of cuddling and a pillow to the face.